In Honor of Valentine’s Day <3

Standard

Violets are Violet

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Wait…that’s ridiculous

Violets are violet.

That’s why they’re called violets.

Because they’re violet.

And you know what,

While we’re at it

Cupid is stupid and a fat toddler at that.

And that tattoo of my name

Won’t insure that I stay

And face it,

We’ll all die alone someday anyways.

But I guess that

If you took into account all peoples,

From North, South, West, and East,

I guess that if I had to pick one,

I’d say that I hate you the least.

 Valentine Poem Template

Oh my dearest (insert name of S.O. here),

I cannot even begin to fathom

The ways in which you’ve made

My life so (insert exaggerated adjective here)

I love how your (insert body part of choice)

Reminds me of (insert nature simile)

And I find myself asking how I

Ever got so lucky.

You are the love of my life,

My (insert noxious nickname),

My (insert second noxious nickname),

And I will be with you always.

Happy Valentine’s Day

(insert doodle of X&O’s, hearts, etc.)

 Shakespeare in Translation

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?

(Because you’re really freaking hot)

Thou art more lovely and more temperate:

(Temperate as in temperature…as in hot)

Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,

(You can be my darling any day)

And summer’s lease hath all too short a date:

(Seriously, you and I should definitely date)

Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,

(Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?)

And often is his gold complexion dimmed,

(Mmm, I like how you’re workin’ that tan)

And every fair from fair sometime declines,

(Wait, are you seriously gonna say no to this?)

By chance, or nature’s changing course untrimmed:

(So you’re saying I have a chance then?)

But thy eternal summer shall not fade,

(Oh I see, you’re playing hard to get)

Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow’st,

(There better not be someone else)

Nor shall death brag thou wander’st in his shade,

(If there is, I’ll kill you)

When in eternal lines to time thou grow’st,

(Don’t worry, I’ll grow on you.)

So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

(Feel free to read my love poetry whenever you need a pick-me up)

*winks sensuously*

An Erotic Novel

 

  1. Twilight
  2. Whisper
  3. Cape Cod
  4. Whale
  5. Palisade
  6. Shadow
  7. Steel Wool
  8. Anchor
  9. Stormy Sky
  10. Sterling
  11. Charcoal
  12. Burnt Ember
  13. Dolphin
  14. Smoke
  15. Pewter
  16. Nickel
  17. Pigeon
  18. Stone Harbor
  19. Silver Fox
  20. Cobblestone Path
  21. Cinderblock
  22. Rainstorm
  23. Huskie
  24. Thunder
  25. Himalayan Trek
  26. Silent Night
  27. Shadow
  28. Feather
  29. Metallic
  30. Nightingale
  31. Apparition
  32. Sheep’s Wool
  33. Mist
  34. Nimbus
  35. Pelican
  36. Cascade
  37. Mineral
  38. Shoreline
  39. Fog
  40. River Silt
  41. Gargoyle
  42. Old Soul
  43. Squirrel Tail
  44. Windy City
  45. Secret
  46. Rocky Coast
  47. Hearthstone
  48. Winter Solstice
  49. Cob Web
  50. Timber Wolf

Gray Paint Chips

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