Violets are Violet
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Violets are violet.
That’s why they’re called violets.
Because they’re violet.
And you know what,
While we’re at it
Cupid is stupid and a fat toddler at that.
And that tattoo of my name
Won’t insure that I stay
And face it,
We’ll all die alone someday anyways.
But I guess that
If you took into account all peoples,
From North, South, West, and East,
I guess that if I had to pick one,
I’d say that I hate you the least.
Valentine Poem Template
Oh my dearest (insert name of S.O. here),
I cannot even begin to fathom
The ways in which you’ve made
My life so (insert exaggerated adjective here)
I love how your (insert body part of choice)
Reminds me of (insert nature simile)
And I find myself asking how I
Ever got so lucky.
You are the love of my life,
My (insert noxious nickname),
My (insert second noxious nickname),
And I will be with you always.
Happy Valentine’s Day
(insert doodle of X&O’s, hearts, etc.)
Shakespeare in Translation
Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
(Because you’re really freaking hot)
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
(Temperate as in temperature…as in hot)
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
(You can be my darling any day)
And summer’s lease hath all too short a date:
(Seriously, you and I should definitely date)
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
(Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?)
And often is his gold complexion dimmed,
(Mmm, I like how you’re workin’ that tan)
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
(Wait, are you seriously gonna say no to this?)
By chance, or nature’s changing course untrimmed:
(So you’re saying I have a chance then?)
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
(Oh I see, you’re playing hard to get)
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow’st,
(There better not be someone else)
Nor shall death brag thou wander’st in his shade,
(If there is, I’ll kill you)
When in eternal lines to time thou grow’st,
(Don’t worry, I’ll grow on you.)
So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.
(Feel free to read my love poetry whenever you need a pick-me up)
An Erotic Novel
- Cape Cod
- Steel Wool
- Stormy Sky
- Burnt Ember
- Stone Harbor
- Silver Fox
- Cobblestone Path
- Himalayan Trek
- Silent Night
- Sheep’s Wool
- River Silt
- Old Soul
- Squirrel Tail
- Windy City
- Rocky Coast
- Winter Solstice
- Cob Web
- Timber Wolf